If one member of the family is suffering with an illness, this has an impact on the entire family system. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is an illness, and whether a parent, child or other family member is suffering, OCD will impact the individual and those closest to them.
OCD is characterized by obsessions, defined as unwanted, intrusive thoughts that cause distress and reoccur despite the individual’s efforts to stop them. Compulsions are any repetitive behaviours or mental acts that are used as an attempt to provide temporary relief from the distress or other emotions (i.e. anxiety, guilt, shame) caused by the obsessive thoughts.
Attempting to deal with the time-consuming nature of OCD with your family member: helping them perform rituals, providing reassurance, or doing anything to help them avoid situations that trigger the OCD, keeps the family stuck in the OCD cycle. You do not have to be an expert about OCD, or play the role of therapist for your family member. As Hershfield states in When a Family Member Has OCD (2015), “The golden rule for supporting a family member with OCD is to remain a family member.”
For example, when two people live together, they make accommodations based on the space that they are sharing, which hopefully creates a harmonious environment. Alternatively, OCD accommodations are counterproductive because of the never-ending demands that OCD places on the family. Accommodations serve to strengthen the hold that OCD has on and the family. As Hershfield says, “You may be accommodating by waiting for rituals to be completed, avoiding doing things that might trigger your family member’s OCD, or even washing, checking, or doing other rituals yourself at your family member’s request.”
Source: Hershfield, J. (2015). When a Family Member Has OCD: Mindfulness & Cognitive Behavioural Skills to Help Families Affected by Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. New Harbinger Publications, Inc.
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